KGB, 100%... wise man, blin...

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Originally posted by Minime21: as fas as I understand that whole point of this topic is that Alinka doesn't want to change just because someone wants to have kids with her in future.

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Ага, but she's gonna change anyway, 'cause it's built-in. Standard equipment.

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

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Originally posted by KGBMan:

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Originally posted by Minime21: as fas as I understand that whole point of this topic is that Alinka doesn't want to change just because someone wants to have kids with her in future.

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Ага, but she's gonna change anyway, 'cause it's built-in. Standard equipment.

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No, it's not.....it's not one of your bodily function.... and you don't just download babies....It's NOT standard... nor should it be....

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Originally posted by KGBMan:

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Originally posted by Minime21: as fas as I understand that whole point of this topic is that Alinka doesn't want to change just because someone wants to have kids with her in future.

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Ага, but she's gonna change anyway, 'cause it's built-in. Standard equipment.

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I agree that every person changes tak ili inache, but that person has to get to that point(especially when it comes to babies) when SHE! /HE decides to do so. And when someone pushes you to do something, avtomatom voznikaut vsyakie protivorechiya.

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Originally posted by Minime21: when SHE! /HE decides to do so.

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key phrase AMEN!!!

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Originally posted by ribelk:

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Originally posted by KGBMan:

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Originally posted by Minime21: as fas as I understand that whole point of this topic is that Alinka doesn't want to change just because someone wants to have kids with her in future.

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Ага, but she's gonna change anyway, 'cause it's built-in. Standard equipment.

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No, it's not.....it's not one of your bodily function.... and you don't just download babies....It's NOT standard... nor should it be....

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Thank you, Ribelk! KGBMan, women are not mere incubators driven merely by one biological urge- and we are not supposed to be. If we were, we wouldn't also have brains, ambitions, opinions, etc. Some women want to have children. Some don't. Just as some men want them and some don't. Don't assume we are all the same and don't assume you know more about Alina than Alina does regarding what she will or will not want.

I can just listen to myself, that's all I can do. And right now I'm strongly declined. As well as the latest 10-12 years. So I'm not sure. And yeah, we broke up. :o). Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

end of topic!

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i think desire to have kids is also age related. back in moscow i knew two wonderful girls (they never met) and both said the same: "at one time i thought about [kids] but right now (they were at their late 30s) it seems like too much work/ hussle/ trouble." and i do understand them. if you never get them at the "right time" than with time hormonal level goes down and instincts/desire too. to have kid(s) late seems like an enormous burden especially with no help of others (no babysitter, parents, money). but if money is ok or help is available who cares I would have 3 of my own and adopt some :). as it's the only real unconditional love ever existing :). the earlier the better :) though it's not my case :)

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Here's what confuses me in these kinds of discussions.. Eventually someone inevitably mentions the fact that this is (on average) age related (if women are polled by age group). The average critical age has increased with the changing role of women in society. But the age of menopause has not moved. Does anyone else see a problem with this? Disclaimer - There is no reason to be violently angry with me, i try to be a nice person, and wish all the women here many years the the most intense happiness imaginable ________________________________________ "Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

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"Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

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Originally posted by Egor: Here's what confuses me in these kinds of discussions.. Eventually someone inevitably mentions the fact that this is (on average) age related (if women are polled by age group). The average critical age has increased with the changing role of women in society. But the age of menopause has not moved. Does anyone else see a problem with this? Disclaimer - There is no reason to be violently angry with me, i try to be a nice person, and wish all the women here many years the the most intense happiness imaginable ________________________________________ "Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

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Actually, I don't see a problem with this at all. Menopause is the time when pregnancy is no longer possible, so I don't see a problem with having them until this age. If our bodies couldn't do that, wouldn't menopause happen much earlier, at 30, 35, 40, etc.? I also think it makes sense to have children later in today's society if you so desire. We aren't beaten down by the physical labor of survival these days to the point where 30 is middle aged and 40 is an elder of the society. Combine our easier life with advances in health care and increased longevity and a woman of 40 is probably healthier, and has a longer life expectancy, than a woman of 25 a couple of centuries ago.

I don't see huge problem, lifestyle and comfort level and medicative support are also improved which give us [women] more flexibility and allow to slack or not to think of time/age... ps... mumbling :)

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You won't see me argue with having kids later, I am almost 30 and I want to have kids later. But we are talking about women. When is average menopause? Adult women are not looking at a lot of years to find a worthy man to have kids with, and may end up having to settle.. Especially considering that certain marketable traits start declining very very early. This is a sensitive topic I won't get into details, maybe Pom can - he doesn't care The critical age when a stereotypical post-modern woman finally wants to have kids is getting closer to menopause, which is not moving. Everyone agrees, right? Things that matter now in our shallow self-serving lives must then seem naive if not stupid. This age used to occur much earlier. Way before menopause, when something could be done.. p.s. mumbling too... ________________________________________ "Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

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"Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

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Originally posted by Egor: Especially considering that certain marketable traits start declining very very early.

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Do you think that your own maketable traits do not decline? and very very early? Perhaps you should restrict your dating to women in the 23 and under crowd then.

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Originally posted by Leah: Do you think that your own maketable traits do not decline?

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I didn't say that. Things do work a little differently with men because women tend to look for different things. It is an unfair advantage, I agree but in terms of "visual effects" both sexes probably decline about the same.

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Originally posted by Leah: and very very early? Perhaps you should restrict your dating to women in the 23 and under crowd then.

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I think someone missed my disclaimer.. If this is to be discussed rationally, it can't be like this. It's all downhill for everyone who is not a child. I try not to get depressed about it and would recommend the same :) It seems most people know what makes them happy.. so do it and be happy. The title of the topic is "instinct". That's a serious word. That's not what's been discussed though. What's been discussed is how little it matters versus nurture, and other things we "think up" in our brains. Instincts are much older than our ability to make calculated decisions about our lives. My 2 cents, sorry. ________________________________________ "Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

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"Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский