Karkusha,  I am 49, natasha is 42     green card pending   we are not legally married but performed a marriage ceremony without a preist for our own benefit and we consider ourselves married.  Reason simple.   Our lawyer recommended no marriage because of type of case at immigration../    Sooo.....  she is gonna get her green card sooner than if we legally married.   Soooo.  nothing but love keeps her with me.

 

Natalya

Sooo..   Your telling me that it's okay for a woman to cheat on her husband and then expect 50% of his money, take his kids away and get child support (28% of gross in GA) and take his house?????   I'm sorry for any man who goes through what I did.   Every man here (notice comments above) disagrees with you.  I have always taken my share of responsibility for my first marriage not working out.  But she had an option.  Divorce me before cheating on me.  THIS would have been more honorable than cheating on me and then divorcing me.  As far as her being on prozac,  Again, why depressed,   how about emotionally unstable.  No person should judge another who has lived with an emotionally unstable person.  There are always two or more victims in this situation, not one.

Also,  the comment you refer to that you hear "all the time" about leaving the old guy when they get the green card?    If these women came over here and married a man they didn't love or one with to big an age difference, and only married him for the green card, then they deserve the misery they get, and when they divorce, they should get an amount comiserate with the financial contribution they made to the marriage.  (exception, the men should pay for any child support if a kid has been produced.)   

Further, not every generalization placing one group of people above another is wrong.   ( a generalization...  LOL)

LIke.....   Asian kids are generally better educated than American kids

Also...  The teenagers of almost any other culture have a better work ethic than American Teenagers. 

I could go on Natalya, but you get the picture.

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Make each day count to improve yourself and those around you

mkgilstrap:

Karkusha,  I am 49, natasha is 42     green card pending   we are not legally married but performed a marriage ceremony without a preist for our own benefit and we consider ourselves married.  Reason simple.   Our lawyer recommended no marriage because of type of case at immigration../    Sooo.....  she is gonna get her green card sooner than if we legally married.   Soooo.  nothing but love keeps her with me.

To be honest, 49 and 42 is a lot better than I expected, so you have a chance there  ...I thought you were gonna say 49 and 25. But since get green card is still pending, I would not declare a victory yet. Even with all other issues aside, it seems like you are still in a "honeymoon" stage of your marriage. Wait 7-10 years than compare compare the two.

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I don't think Mkgilstrap was asking for a psychic friends network input on his future. 

But in case you were, everything sounds wonderful, either the generalization does not apply (as we all said can happen), or the generalization is wrong.  And I don't know which.

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"Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

The only reason women cheat is because they are unhappy in their relantionships. A woman that is taken for granted or not satisfied by her partner emotionally has to look elsewhere for intimacy. She doesn't realy want to, but has to, because that is what all women need. A man, on the other hand, cheats on his partner only because "she ain’t what she used to be" - he is responsible for that change in the first place, btw - and thus only to satisfy his physical desires. But I digress.  A man, that failed to provide satisfactory relationship must be penalized for not following the contract agreement (yes, you promissed me all that when you proposed). Soooo, 50/50 at least, but is not really fair to the woman who lost years of her life in unhappy relationship with a jerk, who also made her emotionally unstable.

Muidugi:

The only reason women cheat is because they are unhappy in their relantionships. A woman that is taken for granted or not satisfied by her partner emotionally has to look elsewhere for intimacy. She doesn't realy want to, but has to, because that is what all women need. A man, on the other hand, cheats on his partner only because "she ain’t what she used to be" - he is responsible for that change in the first place, btw - and thus only to satisfy his physical desires. But I digress.  A man, that failed to provide satisfactory relationship must be penalized for not following the contract agreement (yes, you promissed me all that when you proposed). Soooo, 50/50 at least, but is not really fair to the woman who lost years of her life in unhappy relationship with a jerk, who also made her emotionally unstable.

 

I think I'm gonna cry! . .

Сучка не захочет - кобель не вскочит. 

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mkgilstrap:

Karkusha,  I am 49, natasha is 42     green card pending   we are not legally married but performed a marriage ceremony without a preist for our own benefit and we consider ourselves married. 

Then you are handfast.  How very historical of you.  Any Scots in your family tree?  :) 

"If anyone's marriage is in question, all that is needed is that they gave their consent, as the law demands....If this consent is lacking in a marriage then all the other celebrations count for nothing, even if intercourse has occurred."    ~Pope Nicholas I, 866 CE

 

 

 

412:

I think I'm gonna cry! . .

Сучка не захочет - кобель не вскочит. 

 

I didn't expect you, men, to understand...

Whole family tree is Scottish.   However ,  I look horrible in a kilt

karkusha,   thank you,  Frankly, I wouldn't marry a woman so young.   Too much difference in EVERYTHING. 

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Make each day count to improve yourself and those around you

mkgilstrap:

Whole family tree is Scottish.   However ,  I look horrible in a kilt

In that case, you are legally married by means of ancestral tradition. 

Shame about the kilt though.  I love men in kilts.  I attended a private college with Scottish ties and tradition.  The pipe band played at all games and events.  Loved the kilts.  To this day, the sound of bagpipes turns me on... ;)

mkgilstrap:

karkusha,   thank you,  Frankly, I wouldn't marry a woman so young.   Too much difference in EVERYTHING. 

That is likely wise...more chance of common ground and compatibility.  I have a policy that I won't date men more than ten years younger or ten years older than I am.

I have exactly the same parameters, Leah.   A LOT more chance of common ground and compatability.  (ack,  a generalization...lol )  

In my opinion, men who marry women 20-30 years younger than them are just asking for lots of trouble.  Almost definately, she is gonna cheat on you.  At minimum, you will have absolutely nothing in common.    These guys are just thinking with the brain on the end of their p@@@s.

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Make each day count to improve yourself and those around you

lol, this reminds me of MY generalization

we need someone on this forum to be in as good a situation with a woman 20 years younger, as you are with your wife

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"Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский

I've only known one couple with such a large age difference,  he was 42, she was 18.   Don't ask me what her motivation was, I know what his was.   But,  they've been married for about 6 years now and seem very happy...  so who am I to say anything.  

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Make each day count to improve yourself and those around you

marriage is 50/50, but money and assets aren't if only one of the husband/wife collection brings most of it home.

and cheating negates any and all obligations.

No matter what is behind cheating and what excuse is used - it's still cheating and cheater has to go out of marriage bare, no money, no kids ....

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

Muidugi:

I didn't expect you, men, to understand...

Гык-гык! . .
[Ковыряется в носу, громко рыгает и тянется за бутылкой водки]

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since we are all writing laws, here's mine

each person keeps: (assets before marriage + personal income during marriage) - ( household spending during marriage / 2 ).  If that number is below zero for you, call it even - you get nothing, but you had a great free ride, congratulations.  

Cheating can't matter, people lie about this stuff in court all the time.  Both sides. I watch Judge Mathis.

And unless there's a child to DNA test, the judges just take a wild guess based on whose clothes are ironed or who has more loose cash for the lawyers.

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"Я это понимаю на рациональном уровне, но не могу принять на эмоциональном" --Бизнесмен Борис Березовский