Just wondering, girls. What is it? And when and how did you start feeling it, at what age? I'm not a monster at all, I'm ok with friend's kids (as long as they behave), they love me too, just never wanter to have the one of my own. Still don't (not agressively, no-no, just simply don't care). Is it something you're born with/without? Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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Originally posted by Alina: Just wondering, girls. What is it? And when and how did you start feeling it, at what age? I'm not a monster at all, I'm ok with friend's kids (as long as they behave), they love me too, just never wanter to have the one of my own. Still don't (not agressively, no-no, just simply don't care). Is it something you're born with/without? Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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u nekotoryx on prixodit tolko posle 9mesyacev i samogo rozhdeniya. kogda malysh uzhe na rukax i uzhe osoznaesh', chto on tvoy i ty uzhe ego ne mozhesh prosto tak , poigravshis', otdat' komu-to. a k chemu myslishki takie poshli? ......smotri, sha zastavim group test delat'

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Da ne, just had a fight with a b/f. Are there men out there with the same attitude as mine (leaving it up to woman I mean to have or not to have)? Are kids that necessary for the relationship? What if I never make my mind up? The only thing I'm doing - thrying to be honest and act in line with my inner voice. The inner voice is scilent and indifferent, so why should I experiense this pressure all the time? Especially from a man? Nu ya ponimayu, mamy kogda nachinayut kudahtat', tipa "vnuki", a muzhiki-to chego? Zachem im eto? Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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Originally posted by Alina: Da ne, just had a fight with a b/f. Are there men out there with the same attitude as mine (leaving it up to woman I mean to have or not to have)? Are kids that necessary for the relationship? What if I never make my mind up? The only thing I'm doing - thrying to be honest and act in line with my inner voice. The inner voice is scilent and indifferent, so why should I experiense this pressure all the time? Especially from a man? Nu ya ponimayu, mamy kogda nachinayut kudahtat', tipa "vnuki", a muzhiki-to chego? Zachem im eto? Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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nu pochemu, est' mnogo takix muzhikov, u kotoryx sushestvuet stremlenie imet' detey, prodolzhit' svoy rod tak skazat'(kak by staro eto ne zvuchalo, no fakt) nu, ne xochetsya tebe detey, ne imey, prosto esli eto uzhe stanovitsya problemoy seychas i v budushem, to na moy vzglyad, tolko est' 2 resheniya etomu: ili ty ostaeshsya s chelovekom i reshaeshsya pomenyat' ves' svoy mir, ili ty prodolzhaesh' poisk cheloveka, kotoromu tochno tak zhe ne nuzhny deti, kak i tebe. a mozhet ishesh' togo, u kogo uzhe est' kids', so he's happy w/o you having more kids. ....my 2cents

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Alina, respect to you for openly admiting to yourself and others something that maybe considered no so conventional or trivial!!!! I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to have kids by choice...NOT EVERY WOMAN is maternal, and defenetly not every man is paternal...I highly doubt that Instinct has anything to do with age in particular... there is life outside diaper/breast pump/soccer practice bliss... and as long as you know WHAT IT IS and strong enough to stick by it without guilt or developement of major inferiority complexes, you are Golden.. I wouldn't play "russian roulette" that Liana's talking about with giving birth to a baby to see if you feel something toward it when it arrives.... And also as far as men go... some of them are just infertile. (statistics show that in case of infertile couple-- 40% have to do with man's infertility) IMHO only

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Originally posted by pomidorchik:

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Originally posted by ribelk: some of them are just infertile.

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ohh..then the solution is obvious. find yourself an infertile man, and live happily ever after. i think that would be the best way to resolve your depression.

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just one of the option ... infertility has no bearing on any othr function of a person... you don't have to be so sarcastic all the time.. as for depression... there are other ways to deal with it... aren't there?

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Originally posted by ribelk: . I wouldn't play "russian roulette" that Liana's talking about with giving birth to a baby to see if you feel something toward it when it arrives.... IMHO only

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no, not "russian roulette"....what I was saying that women decide to have kids even tho they don't have that instinct programmed in them and they have them and the instinct starts to develop in them, for someone it works well. Now, if it would be me, I would never have kids without the feeling that I'm ready for it. Not that we planed the baby, but I definitely never had feeling like I wouldn't want a child one day. I always knew that I want to have them. But I also don't want to have more then two kids, that's I know for sure and will try to stick to it. And no one will change it in my mind but me, so if you don't want it, you just DON'T want it.

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desire to have kids comes with love towards particular man. i was never into kids, but with the right guy it always starts making sense. i believe everybody is maternal/parternal. sometimes they just don't feel that way towards particular man/woman :). I dated someone I would never have kids with under any circumstances and it was a reason for split up.

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Мe and my wife were like that - we didn't want no freaking kid's.... than it happend and it's the best thing ever that happend to me ! So, you never know...

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

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Originally posted by TallSally: desire to have kids comes with love towards particular man. i was never into kids, but with the right guy it always starts making sense. i believe everybody is maternal/parternal. sometimes they just don't feel that way towards particular man/woman :). I dated someone I would never have kids with under any circumstances and it was a reason for split up.

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Interesting thought... although absolutely not the case for me...I always knew I wanted kids.... never planned on having any Husband to go with it 'till I met my hubby... which is only one more testiment(sp?) to the fact that everyone is different...

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probably agree with TallSally about the man part.. i wouldn't want kids w/o a husband.

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Well, it's better to clarify such questions before getting engaged/married. Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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Originally posted by Alina: Well, it's better to clarify such questions before getting engaged/married. Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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well, that's a must I think

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Originally posted by Alina: Well, it's better to clarify such questions before getting engaged/married. Не говорите, что мне делать, и я не скажу вам, куда идти.

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people change, opinions and desires change too..... marriage is not a 'пятилетка" where every last nail is planned for...sh. things happen

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

as fas as I understand that whole point of this topic is that Alinka doesn't want to change just because someone wants to have kids with her in future.

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