Russian professor is using a replacement for the ruler.  In this case it's a chair   This is an example of ''Русская смекалка''

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcmCzMU-Jcw]  

Jeff Foxworthy - Redneck translation of ''European'':

  Would you like some tea?

Room Service:   ''Morrin. Roon sirbees.'' Guest:          ''Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'' Room Service:   ''Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joo wish to oddor sunteen???'' Guest:          ''Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.'' Room Service: ...

Watch Bill Maher Throw 9/11 Conspiracy Hecklers Out Of His Audience.  Not safe for work... Crazy 9/11 conspiracy theorists in Real Time with Bill Maher's audience get kicked out. Bill actually goes into the audience to make sure they get taken care of and comments on their idiotic views. [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3F5duZvjvg]

I'll start. Ad for a Funeral Service

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuE2HTcPCls]

Shmuel Gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning. Would like to take you out Saturday night. Please write POB 81.  Couch potato latke in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for 8 days. Who knows? POB 43  Divorced Jewish man seeks partner to attend shul light shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, ...